when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
