Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
