i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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