I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
