worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
