We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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