Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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