My nipple is on Facebook.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
