Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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