Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
