he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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