It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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