I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
