Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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