The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
