I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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