Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
