I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
im holly from the hills drunk
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
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We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
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Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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