i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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