everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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