just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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