I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
