my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize