please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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