That's intense
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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