i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
