Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
