You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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