tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
