I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
