She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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