Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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