Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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