You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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