just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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