it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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