sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
