What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
