HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize