I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
