swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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