just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
