youre lurking in front of me
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
