i would punch a child for taco bell
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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