so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
