Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
