i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
