Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
