so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
