we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
