Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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