i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
