i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
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