So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
