Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
