It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
