I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
