Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
