Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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