How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
