So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Randomize
