I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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