FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
